Just doing a little winter portfolio updating.

I’ve been increasing my web presence to hedge my bets in the event that vengeful tree ghosts do, in fact, exist. Thuserly, I’ve created a page for all that non-print bloggy stuff.

Here, you’ll find my latest DVICE piece that explores the sad, scary world of Mark Zuckerberg fan fiction (which Gawker deemed “fun” enough to re-blog). I also prove that The Matrix is real and ask a very important question to the global science community.

BUT WAIT, there’s a shit-ton more! I had my first piece on the sci-fi/movie/entertainment site BLASTR where I profile 17 movies so horrible even their creators say they sucked. AND I’ve also posted my latest cover story on comedian Ron White.

So, enjoy! I do it all for you. And for money.

You haven’t been clicking on it.

I can tell.

But you really should! It’s a collection of a lot of features I’ve had published over the past few years, including the celebrity interviews I do for my dayjob. Anyway, I’ve spent the past few weeks transcribing them so they’re easier to read. They are now available in full on this site or as a Google Docs link of the full layout. I’ve even given you the option to go all old school and download a PDF to your computer. That way you can enjoy these works in some godforsaken place where you don’t have access to the internet. On camping trips. In a submarine on a spy mission. On the moon. In purgatory with all the unbaptized babies. Wherever top-notch feature writing is enjoyed.

Enjoy!

Urrrrgh, Internet!

Why can’t I get Internet Explorer (the” The Simpsons” of  browsers—i.e. had some good stuff early on, but just kept existing beyond its proper cultural expiration date due to the profit whims of a suffocating corporate monster parent) to show this web site correctly!?

If you’re viewing this on Explorer, there’s probably some text where it shouldn’t be, some of my social network stuff is missing, and all sorts of other great stuff that you just aren’t experiencing. It’s like I bought you a ticket for “Avatar” in 3D, and gave you a ride to the IMAX, but then you and Explorer decided to dump me and go see “Everybody’s Fine” on the theater’s also-ran screen instead.

Ah well, off to the WordPress forums for me!