Posts tagged science!

Apparently something called the Bloom Box will make affordable clean energy available to the world. Of course, the liberal media still wants to know “how” this “technology” actually “works,” and the Bloomies are not letting on other than it somehow was developed by Martian technology (I shit you not—read the story). More information will come on Wednesday. But for now, all we know is that the Bloom Box is the size of a loaf of bread, and that Google and Colin Powell are down with it—and they gave us Google Buzz and the Iraq war, respectively.

So, there you go.

Civilization will change forever on Wednesday.

And nobody’s made that claim before, so remember to hold your breath extra tight or it won’t come true.

The letter X has long been one of the most versatile and useful letters in the alphabet. For centuries X has been the beloved algebraic stand-in for lazy numbers, served as a provocative surname for black nationalists, been the flag for movies that get a little too nekkid with the down-there parts, and even has been the long-accepted cartoon shorthand for jars of old-timey hooch.

And now X has taken it upon itself to outshine all other letters by being the first letter to fly in space.

X, the space consonant, is captured here by The Hubble telescope (which I thought was out of order, but apparently is not) over four days in January. Science men seem to think it may be the result of a collision of two previously unknown comets. But they are wrong. It is the letter X flying back to its home planet where the number two and the upside down carrot thing came from. Come back to visit us sometime, X. Zylophones won’t be the same without you.

The songs of the Humpback Whales, the mystical giant floating pickles of the ocean, have long infatuated mankind (but mostly hippie New Age types who seek refuge from the stresses of modern times in false romantic notions of pre-industrial society… just sayin’).

And, in all honesty, I am a fan of the whale-core! It does have an undeniable appeal in that spacey muffled pre-natal sonics sort of way. But what are these hours-long avant-garde progressive-rock odes? Are our sea pickle brethren warning us of the destruction of mother earth? Probably not! It’s doubtful humpbacks have any knowledge of a world beyond their oceanic homes that produces nuclear bombs, Taco Bells, and Ol’ Dirty Bastards with wild abandon (let alone that they totally starred in a Star Trek movie).  In all likelihood, the songs are just the sounds of horny man whales getting their flirt on with sexy lady whales.

And now, we have an entirely new way to enjoy these whale tunes—thanks to Science! A science man recently used some science to turn audio recordings of whales into striking visuals (seen above). Smartly, the science man who specializes in underwater acoustics also sells the visuals through his own web site because the dorm-room poster industry pulled in $48 billion dollars last year domestically (I totally just made that up!). But this guy will seriously make Avatars of moneys by selling glowing eyeball art. Not only will it totally rock any black light, but it comes from whales, which will totally impress anyone who comes into your house.

Have you ever made a mistake? Or handed in an assignment that you know wasn’t as good as it could have been? It’s okay, everybody does that sometimes. Even nature.

According to www.reptilesandamphibians.org, where I go for all my latest updates on reptiles and amphibians (and to meet hotties), scientists have discovered a cornucopia of stupid creatures in Ecuador. Included in this bevy of God’s boners are a frog with a transparent abdomen, seen here:

Nobody wants to see that! Get yourself some skin, little froggy!

The group of scientists also discovered a “snail-sucking” snake which does exactly what you think it does.