Posts tagged photography

cinemagraph art for the people.

You know what’s neat on the internets? Cinemagraphs. They’re just like animated gifs—or, they’re exactly like animated gifs—but they’re animated gifs for fancy people! Like you.

I classify cinemagraphs as a completely different species than the ubiquitous “animated gifs” that inhabit the message boards and tumblr posts of internetland. Cinemagraphs incorporate slight bits of movement into otherwise static digital images, adding a subtle stylish element.

Here’s a prime example from digi-artists Jamie Beck and Kevin Burg (proprietors of the above link):

Anyway, I’ve been trying my hand at making cinemagraphs. I’m using some complimentary software and this helpful online tutorial. I think for some first tries, they’re pretty good. My initial attempts seem to center around blinking eyeballs. In any event, I hope to have some more advanced ones in the future to help bring a little magic and class to my already sophisticated web presence.

I'm silly

the finest photo captured with a cell phone. ever.

Seriously. This is a beautiful photo. Captured with my Motorola Atrix. A little PhotoShop would make this a classic.

My condolences for all the people who wasted their money on expensive “cameras” and “photography classes.”

Dummies.

Little did you know that all you needed was a cell phone and the ability to look up.

osama’s death photo [nsfw]

What I am about to show you is very disturbing, and may very well place me at great personal risk. And yet, I thought this information too vital to keep from the world. I can not divulge how I came upon this very explosive image, but I can only say that without a doubt it features the corpse of terrorist mastermind Osama Bin Laden following the invasion of his compound in Abbottabad, Pakistan.

WARNING: this image would be considered quite gruesome by most readers, click away if you are offended by such things. Analysis of the image will follow below…

As you can see, much of this grainy footage speaks for itself. In the foreground, we clearly see Osama Bin Laden lying lifeless on the floor following the initial invasion. His eyes have turned to Xs, which is how we can prove with scientific certainty that he is deceased. If you look above the corpse and to the left, there appears to be a set of lady boobs. While if you scan over to the right of the image, you’ll see what clearly is a dinosaur who is saying “grrrr” because he’s a dinosaur.

I hope these images will help quell the conspiracy theorists out there who might think OBL is still alive.

Please re-blog this photo before the powers that be remove it from the pubic record.

the limited pallet of the iphone camera.

This is an image from the impressive new Brooklyn Bridge Park.

As can also be seen in my previous piece, the iPhone camera is very good at somber. Of course, it also has a lot of limitations (live events are not the iPhone’s friend, the zoom sucks, there’s no flash), but there are some things it does well. Handling grays, for example. Aside from the iPhone camera’s more popular vocation as cat documentarian and bathroom mirror photo studio, I would like to add the title: underrated art tool of the new millennium.

knucklebutts: the first great fad of 2010

Move over Twitter and Double Dutch. There’s a new fad taking the nation by storm!

Knucklebutts!

Have you ever wanted a photograph of your friends, parents, pets, bosses, or famous people on the TV framed between bare cherubic buttocks and legs? Well, now those dreams are finally within reach! All you need is a camera, a finger, and a child-like sense of adventure and whimsy. (check, check, and CHECK!)

Boring vacation photo? Put a butt in it! Slow day at the office? Why not take a photo of your co-workers—with a naked butt in it! Got the wedding portrait blues? A BUTT might be the cure for you!

The best part of this new fad is its nearly endless versatility!

I wish I could take all the credit for this amazing new thing. But I actually first heard of it a few days ago via actor Paul Rudd (who my girlfriend mistakenly believes she is allowed to have sex with), who was a guest on the occasional comedy show Broin’ Out. He showed the audience some cherub butt photos he took while on a recent movie shoot featuring the images of Steve Carell, Zack Galifianakis, and apparently his own mother. Pure genius!

Now go forth, young warriors. A world of knucklebutts awaits you!

scary napkin monster

Sometimes, during lunch break, if I’m not careful, I get visited by the scary napkin monster. The dangerous (and aforementioned scary) beast is captured here in rare footage from earlier this week as it attacks me and attempts to eat my face and soul.