Posts tagged movies

kate beckinsale’s subway ad jihad.

Here are two NYC subway ads for the newest installation of the werewolf vs. vampire drama, Underworld.

First, I will state that the Underworld films (and I’ve seen them all) are not completely horrible—there is a kernel of a quality movie surrounded by a thick shell off poorly-lit cinematic poo. I have a soft spot for this series which wants so hard to be a respected fantasy franchise, but keeps falling short. Still, I wasn’t planning on shelling out $12 ($15 for the 3D experience) to see “Awakening,” rather I’d opt to see it in the comfort of my home when it eventually saunters on to FX next year.

HOWEVER, the movie’s edgy new ad campaign has, in the least, got my attention. Here you can see star Kate Beckinsale threatening other ads in the subway with gun violence.

Here she tells RuPaul, “You better work… at backing the fuck up! New York wants to spend their disposable entertainment dollars on ME! Bitch.”


Some might take offense to Kate threatening this middle-aged Metropolitan Teachers’ College rep. But I, for one, applaud its bold take-no-prisoners style.

No one is safe from Underworld Awakenings.


Rock on with your badself, Ms. Beckinsale.

hollywood mugs nation with fad

Did you see Avatar?!? That movie was amazing, right?! It was the first time I’ve seen a 3-D movie and thought “wow, there was actually a reason for that movie to be in 3-D.”

I’ve seen a handful of other 3-D flicks and had varied reactions. I thought it added a magical layer to the underrated Coraline. I thought it was a complete afterthought in the surprisingly not horrible My Bloody Valentine. And I found it  pretty much forgettable in Tim Burton’s most recent paycheck, Alice in Wonderland.

Nearly all theaters offer the 3-D experience now. My local Pavilion Theater looks like an old-timey neighborhood movie house from the outside, but that’s merely nostalgic camouflage for the money-grubbing, awful-teenager-employing, rumored-bed-bug-having, people-yelling-at-the-movie-attracting poop box that lies inside. The Pavilion is the closest theater to me, but I usually hop on the subway in order to get to a far more enjoyable movie experience in the next neighborhood over. In addition to its usual suckage, this past year saw The Pavilion become the only theater (that I’m aware of) that felt the need to charge an additional $2.00 for the benefit of renting their shitty little yellow plastic 3-D glasses. I’m not sure why there wasn’t more of an outrage. Once the digital projector has been in place (and they have been for close to a decade now), it does not cost the theater anything extra to showcase a 3-D film. They are passing along the cost of nothing.

But apparently, this awful little theater with its vomit-stained foam rubber seats was just setting the bar for the rest of the country.

According to the people who make movies, America is rabid for virtual depth perception in their big screen entertainment. Even though it is still kinda in artistic beta testing, we avid movie-goers are going to start paying a lot more for a pseudo z-axis.

Check this out:

Starting Friday, prices for adult admission to 3-D movies will increase an average 8.3% at box offices nationwide, according to market research conducted by investment firm BTIG. Ticket prices for IMAX movies are expected to jump 10%, while prices for regular 2-D movies will rise about 4% on average…

…At one AMC theater in New York, the price for a family of four to see a 3-D screening of Dreamworks Animation’s How to Train your Dragon this Friday will be $63 before popcorn, soda or candy.

Dear movies, it’s a recession out there. Stop being an asshole. Most people enjoy the respite you offer from the pressures of everyday life. We even like the cultural discussions you forward in your more highbrow fare. But it is becoming harder and harder for us to defend you against those who scapegoat you as the source of teenage promiscuity and the national pandemic of witchcraft. I understand you are a business and want to make as much money as you can. But you are just making this harder on yourself.