Posts tagged knucklebutts

It’s been a hard half-week, but the world is now officially a better place to live and raise kids.

Knucklebutts.net is now live.

Some have called this one of the most important advances of the new millennium. While I’m not one to boast, I am inclined to agree with them. For centuries, cultures around the world have observed how—when manipulated just so—the under-fat of our fingers can be made to look like a butt.

Before the invention of the camera, there was little one could do to share the private moment of a finger looking like a butt. Many times has a manager, a pet, a loved one, or statue of a long-dead war hero has been framed beneath a pseudo-derriere. But there was little one could do to express this trick of perception to rest of the world.

But a new day has risen.

As cameras become tinier and more ubiquitous, we are all able to share in the joy of parts of a hand being made to look like butt cheeks. And so, it with the utmost pride on behalf of me and all my friends and family, that I invite the world to take part in this glorious new digital avenue, Knucklebutts.net.

(As you may have guessed, someone already took knucklebutts.com for some reason. Also available in twitter form, @knucklebutts.)

Amen.

Despite the adorable exterior, Mike StupidHippieFace Smith is a jerk.

He used my ingenious invention of the knucklebutt (which I stole from Paul Rudd) and turned it against me by finding my likeness on the internet and sitting a knucklebutt on my head. I feel like the humans in the dystopic near future of the Terminator series when mankind’s creations turned against him with dire consequences.

For shame.