Recently, the venerable rapping clown duo, Insane Clown Posse agreed to a sit down with a reporter from the lefty-leaning British intellectual rag, The Guardian.

What could possibly go wrong?

So many money quotes, so much looking down a staunch English nose.

Here they discuss the global viral mocking of their single “Miracles”

“Did you anticipate this kind of reaction?” I ask them.

“No,” sighs Violent J. “I figured most people would say, ‘Wow, I didn’t know Insane Clown Posse could be deep like that.’ But instead it’s, ‘ICP said a giraffe is a miracle. Ha ha ha! What a bunch of idiots.’” He pauses, then adds defiantly, “A giraffe is a fucking miracle. It has a dinosaur-like neck. It’s yellow. Yeah, technically an elephant is not a miracle. Technically. They’ve been here for hundreds of years…”

“Thousands,” murmurs Shaggy.

“Have you ever stood next to an elephant, my friend?” asks Violent J. “A fucking elephant is a miracle. If people can’t see a fucking miracle in a fucking elephant, then life must suck for them, because an elephant is a fucking miracle. So is a giraffe.”

Fucking PR agents. How the fuck do they work?

Here is Complex‘s cover. Here you can see they have T.I. covered with a bunch of wires or something. High-contrast black and white. Art.

Meanwhile, on the other end of the publishing spectrum, here is the King of the South looking damn smoove with cigar in hand. Yes, we adapted it from a movie still, but it works well. I think that we are able to stand on our own:

For the record, the Complex story is a Q+A. I, on the other hand, actually wrote a full-length feature about T.I. (and his love for cigars) based on a 20-minute phone conversation he was nice enough to do with me for my tiny little magazine. Not to toot my horn, but I think it’s pretty good.

(toot.)

I’ll put it up here when our issue is off the shelves.

I don’t want to sound bitter, but roughly one kazillion more people are going to read the Complex feature than will read mine. But they should really consider my story. I’m of the opinion that magazine Q+As are the written-word’s equivalent of Terminator  Salvation: there’s lots of things happening, it seems like something interesting should be going on. But in the end, there is no there there, and then we all die a little more inside as a result. And I’m not going to argue that interviewing isn’t an art. It is.  But, when I buy a magazine, I’m hoping for the opportunity to learn about the person on the cover—and I get that through a good writer’s descriptions of how they speak, small vignettes of how the subject reacts with their entourage, or observations of how their face looked at different points during the conversation. Little moments. Things that won’t come through in some summer intern’s transcription. I want something that will captivate and challenge me for the duration of my subway ride and/or extended shit.

Just saying, I enjoy a good feature piece.

Here’s a video of my favorite emcee, P.O.S. hanging out at Pure (raw foodie joint in NYC). Video via the hipster foodies of immaculateinfatuation.com.

Guru, always ahead of the game.

Gang Starr’s Guru Goes Into Cardiac Arrest, In A Coma | Get The Latest Hip Hop News, Rap News & Hip Hop Album Sales | HipHopDX.

Yeefk. Seriously, get better.