Posts tagged Google

science is religion.

This could be YOU.

The New York Times predicts that technology will inevitably lead those with the means and inclination into a souless techno afterlife where we live on in a microchip purgatory for all of eternity (or something like that).

One of guys who created the Google calls it “Singularity” and has even funded a “University” to bring about its existence. Technology has, officially, replaced religion as a mechanism of social glue and mythology of the self. And it’s all very depressing, hopeful, frightening, and exciting.

Tomorrow we will all be Bladerunner, and then we will be Tron.

Technology literally evolves us as a species in real time. With the advent of the saddle, our species evolved from clumsy bipedal prairie monkeys into a speedy beast that could match the longevity and speed of a horse. When Bell invented the telephone, as a species we all suddenly evolved the ability to communicate with miles between us. With the internet, we gained the ability to cull information from a thousand disparate sources around the globe and sort through them in real time. So, it is inevitable that, at some point, we will devise a way to record our personalities (but not our souls) and let them live on in a virtual world. So we’ll be able to read comments from our ancestors leave us on Facebook and follow the Twitter feeds of the illustrious deceased.

Basically, this all means that we’ll cease to be human. Which isn’t, in and of itself, a bad thing. We, as a species, have been human for quite a while. And it’s been a good run—we’ve created tile mosaics, skyscrapers, indoor carpeting, handjobs, artificial insulin. All sorts of neat stuff! Of course we’ve also had war, genocide, Billy Corgan, and terrorism. Terrible, horrible things, all of them. I suppose there’s no inherent harm in graduating to the next cosmic grade. It’ll be rough at first, for sure. There will be a learning curve. There always is. But we’ll get the hang of it, one way or another.

Into the futuremobile, humans.

china isn’t ready to rule the universe yet

Dear China,

Google just announced that they are giving one million dollars to Haiti relief. This happens to be the exact same amount that you, the important country of China gave to the cause.  I’m sure this exact matching amount from a private company to one of the “new economic giants” of the world has nothing to do with great Sino-Mountain View feud of 2010.

China, a little advice if I may. You’re a world leader, or you’re not. This is not the time to skimp on devastation aid so you can afford to ship more arms to the totally awesome Sudanese government in return for mineral rights. Iceland even got supplies and boots  to Haiti the first day, and their chief exports these days are locks of Bjork’s hair and fermented puffin poop (they’re economically devastated is what I’m trying to say)! Even my girlfriend and I sent in our $10 texts and we share a kitchen with our cat’s poop box.

So, one million, China? Really? One million dollars is nothing to you (and, to be fair, it is very little to the Google). But you, China. You have one kabillion people and are the second largest economy in the world. You are the rising economic force that will conquer and enslave us all! You are the new schoolyard bully who is infringing on our bully territory and who we will go to war with in 20 years (we all know that’s coming).

Granted, Haiti offers few natural resources for you to exploit, it seems to be one of the few third world countries without an expat population of Chinese entrepreneurs (who I even saw in friggin’ Belize, which was kinda nuts!), and it is far away from your geo-political influence. I am sure you will give more in the coming weeks, but even from a P.R. point of view, I am sorry to say, but you just fucking failed.


P.S. Still a big fan of your food!