Twitter. Vanquisher of grammar, enabler of Bieberism.

The site recently sent shock waves (yes, shockwaves!) when they unveiled #newtwitter. Personally, I love this here second coming of Twitter. If I could kiss a web site, I would kiss this new media-enabled, multi-plane social network. Fan-tastic!

But there does seem to be one lazy, tacked-on feature of 2.0: the “similar to” function. When looking at a tweeter’s profile, the site will recommend similar users you may want to follow. As far as I can tell, the “similar to” algorithm is little more than a random dice roll of who that person is following.

For the first time I saw who Twitter thought I was similar to. They are all people I follow for various reason.  But they are also individuals and twitter streams that seem to have little, if anything, in common with my steady parade of adorable wittisms and celebrity harassing. Apparently if you enjoy my brand of tweets, you’d also like those of:

  • professional puritan, Kansas Senator (now Governor) Sam Brownback. He mostly tweets about what it’s going to be like when he finally falls in love. Kidding! It seems to be mostly a log of Fox News appearances.
  • or CMangis, my old editor from GearLog who I believe now works at Consumer Reports. Why not?!
  • Apparently if you like the way I put Jersey Shore Cast Members in their place, you’ll also want to follow the Schnitzeltruck–they mostly tweet about where and when they will be parking to shell out delicious, yet overpriced schnitzel.
  • And The View‘s Joy Behar. For the life of me, I don’t know why I’m following her. I didn’t even really know I was. You ever have that happen? Her stream seems to be mostly some intern posting who the guest will be on Joy’s horrible Headline News Channel show.

So there you go. If you like me, you’ll love all that stuff too.

Thanks lazy twitter!