Did you see Avatar?!? That movie was amazing, right?! It was the first time I’ve seen a 3-D movie and thought “wow, there was actually a reason for that movie to be in 3-D.”

I’ve seen a handful of other 3-D flicks and had varied reactions. I thought it added a magical layer to the underrated Coraline. I thought it was a complete afterthought in the surprisingly not horrible My Bloody Valentine. And I found it  pretty much forgettable in Tim Burton’s most recent paycheck, Alice in Wonderland.

Nearly all theaters offer the 3-D experience now. My local Pavilion Theater looks like an old-timey neighborhood movie house from the outside, but that’s merely nostalgic camouflage for the money-grubbing, awful-teenager-employing, rumored-bed-bug-having, people-yelling-at-the-movie-attracting poop box that lies inside. The Pavilion is the closest theater to me, but I usually hop on the subway in order to get to a far more enjoyable movie experience in the next neighborhood over. In addition to its usual suckage, this past year saw The Pavilion become the only theater (that I’m aware of) that felt the need to charge an additional $2.00 for the benefit of renting their shitty little yellow plastic 3-D glasses. I’m not sure why there wasn’t more of an outrage. Once the digital projector has been in place (and they have been for close to a decade now), it does not cost the theater anything extra to showcase a 3-D film. They are passing along the cost of nothing.

But apparently, this awful little theater with its vomit-stained foam rubber seats was just setting the bar for the rest of the country.

According to the people who make movies, America is rabid for virtual depth perception in their big screen entertainment. Even though it is still kinda in artistic beta testing, we avid movie-goers are going to start paying a lot more for a pseudo z-axis.

Check this out:

Starting Friday, prices for adult admission to 3-D movies will increase an average 8.3% at box offices nationwide, according to market research conducted by investment firm BTIG. Ticket prices for IMAX movies are expected to jump 10%, while prices for regular 2-D movies will rise about 4% on average…

…At one AMC theater in New York, the price for a family of four to see a 3-D screening of Dreamworks Animation’s How to Train your Dragon this Friday will be $63 before popcorn, soda or candy.

Dear movies, it’s a recession out there. Stop being an asshole. Most people enjoy the respite you offer from the pressures of everyday life. We even like the cultural discussions you forward in your more highbrow fare. But it is becoming harder and harder for us to defend you against those who scapegoat you as the source of teenage promiscuity and the national pandemic of witchcraft. I understand you are a business and want to make as much money as you can. But you are just making this harder on yourself.