kate beckinsale’s subway ad jihad.
January 21st, 2012 | 5:10 pm
Here are two NYC subway ads for the newest installation of the werewolf vs. vampire drama, Underworld.
First, I will state that the Underworld films (and I’ve seen them all) are not completely horrible—there is a kernel of a quality movie surrounded by a thick shell off poorly-lit cinematic poo. I have a soft spot for this series which wants so hard to be a respected fantasy franchise, but keeps falling short. Still, I wasn’t planning on shelling out $12 ($15 for the 3D experience) to see “Awakening,” rather I’d opt to see it in the comfort of my home when it eventually saunters on to FX next year.
HOWEVER, the movie’s edgy new ad campaign has, in the least, got my attention. Here you can see star Kate Beckinsale threatening other ads in the subway with gun violence.
Here she tells RuPaul, “You better work… at backing the fuck up! New York wants to spend their disposable entertainment dollars on ME! Bitch.”
Some might take offense to Kate threatening this middle-aged Metropolitan Teachers’ College rep. But I, for one, applaud its bold take-no-prisoners style.
No one is safe from Underworld Awakenings.
Rock on with your badself, Ms. Beckinsale.
ron paul is frank purdue.
January 10th, 2012 | 9:24 pm
I’m sure I can’t be the first one to notice this, but cranky ol’ Ron Paul is the doppelganger of processed chicken magnate, Frank Purdue. Check it:
If you listen to them speak, they have similar homespun vocal cadences that end every statement like a question. (“You’ll just love our chickens breasts?” “We left the gold standard and our nation’s economic freedoms began to erode?”)
Frank might have a bit more pudge (the result of a steady diet of chicken fat instead of liberty), however if you squash down Ron’s nose slightly, you’d half expect him start babbling on about the Fed’s disastrous effect on the price of chicken wire. Notice even how they have the same half-y, upturn left eyebrow. I’m not crazy on this one.
And if you want to get even weirder, check out Frank’s son Jim next to Ron’s son, Rand:
The same steely cold dead blue eyes that look like they could deflate your lungs if they glared at you in just the right way.
Just sayin’. #First.
cinemagraph art for the people.
November 13th, 2011 | 8:38 pm
You know what’s neat on the internets? Cinemagraphs. They’re just like animated gifs—or, they’re exactly like animated gifs—but they’re animated gifs for fancy people! Like you.
I classify cinemagraphs as a completely different species than the ubiquitous “animated gifs” that inhabit the message boards and tumblr posts of internetland. Cinemagraphs incorporate slight bits of movement into otherwise static digital images, adding a subtle stylish element.
Here’s a prime example from digi-artists Jamie Beck and Kevin Burg (proprietors of the above link):
Anyway, I’ve been trying my hand at making cinemagraphs. I’m using some complimentary software and this helpful online tutorial. I think for some first tries, they’re pretty good. My initial attempts seem to center around blinking eyeballs. In any event, I hope to have some more advanced ones in the future to help bring a little magic and class to my already sophisticated web presence.
how to make it in america as a writer.
October 13th, 2011 | 9:06 pm
In today’s economy it’s becoming harder and harder for an aspiring wordsmith to make a living. Thank gosh for the aspiring anything’s favorite go-to source: Craigslist! A local flower shop has gone to the internet in search of a creative writer to work their magic. And, unlike a lot that’s up there, it pays! 100 clams! Just think of all the iced coffees and Apple products and black turtlenecks that could buy!
The shop is searching for a local bard-in-need to pen a “human interest story.” Specifically a short vignette surrounding a certain aspect of their store:
We are a flower shop located in midtown Manhattan and are seeking a creative writer to compose a human interest story about our store cat. Everyone on the block/streets stops by to see him. We would like to post the article on our FB and blog in addition to other sources. We are thinking of 1/2 or 1/3 of a newspaper page.
SERIOUS INQUIRIES ONLY.
The story basically writes itself! The cat hangs out with some locals, chews on some flowers, poops in a pot. Maybe solves a mystery or two. BAM! … Look, there’s not much out there that pays right now. Just write about the cat or starve, wordface.
jake tapper has a sense of humor.
September 9th, 2011 | 7:20 pm
Jake Tapper is the professional handsome person that ABC News hires to hold a cell phone at press conferences so the producers can tell him what questions to ask. Well, Tapper and I had some mad beef a while back. It had to do with Jake not liking a little twitter prank of mine, eventually resulting in him laying down the twitter banhammer!
Well, those dark days have finally abated! The ban has been lifted, and as far as I’m concerned the beef is officially squashed.
Jake Tapper, you’re okay in my book.
Hero.
the finest photo captured with a cell phone. ever.
June 27th, 2011 | 5:04 pm
Seriously. This is a beautiful photo. Captured with my Motorola Atrix. A little PhotoShop would make this a classic.
My condolences for all the people who wasted their money on expensive “cameras” and “photography classes.”
Dummies.
Little did you know that all you needed was a cell phone and the ability to look up.
